Why do i attract unattractive guys. Do you ever find yourself wondering why all the worst guys seem to be interested in you? Have you ever felt like you attract a disproportionate amount of unattractive guys? You’re not alone. While everyone experiences different problems in their dating life, many of us feel frustrated by the same underlying issue: attracting (and getting stuck with) the wrong people.
It’s easy to fall into patterns of dating people who aren’t right for us, whether it’s because they don’t meet our standards or because they are not on our wavelength. But why does this keep happening? Why do we end up stuck with a certain type of partner over and over again? In this article, we’ll explore the phenomenon of why attractive guys seem to be repelled by us and what we can do about it.
Understanding Your Attraction Patterns
Ever wonder why you seem to attract the same type of “wrong” guys over and over again? It’s likely that you’re going through life operating on a mindset or belief system that is informing your decisions. Just like with any habit, understanding how it works is key to making better choices.
Take a minute to think about the kind of guys that typically become interested in you. Do they have similar traits? Common interests? Could they all be categorized as ‘unattractive’ in some way? Are there certain elements of their personality that you find appealing, even if their external appearance isn’t attractive to you?
Once you understand the patterns underlying your attraction choices, then you can take steps to change them. You might need to look at what motivates and attracts you—perhaps its someone who is interesting and confident, or maybe even a little bit dangerous! Knowing what appeals to you can help guide your choices so that the next time someone interested in you comes along, it won’t be another ‘wrong’ guy.
Reassess Your Expectations
As cliche as it may sound, it’s likely that what you think you want isn’t necessarily what you need. When it comes to dating, many of us have expectations about the type of person we should be with. It’s important to reexamine those expectations and ask yourself if they are realistic.
Maybe your idea of an attractive guy is someone who looks like a male model or has the perfect wardrobe. This kind of superficial thinking can lead to unrealistic expectations and make it difficult for us to judge people objectively. Instead, focus on qualities such as kindness, intelligence and sense of humor that should be baked into any potential match—not just a physical attraction.
In addition to reassessing your expectation, it may be helpful to start thinking about why you are drawn to certain people in the first place. Often times, our attractions can tell us more about ourselves than they do about the person we’re attracted to—so take some time to reflect on your past relationships and ask yourself what kind of qualities you were looking for in them. Doing this will help you better understand your patterns, so you can make more thoughtful decisions when choosing your next date.
Consider Your Non-Verbal Signals
Have you ever considered that maybe you’re sending out non-verbal signals that you’re attracted to unattractive guys?
Your non-verbal messages, especially your body language and expressions, can be up to five times more reliable than what comes out of your mouth. Unconsciously, you may be giving off cues that you might not even realize.
Here are some signs that may be attracting the wrong kind of guys:
Overconfidence
When a man sees you as overly confident—no matter how it’s expressed—it can come off as arrogance and turn him off without him even realizing it. Even if your goal is to project confidence and strength, try to tone it down a bit if there seems to be too much at first glance.
Why do i attract unattractive guys A Smile
Be sure that when you smile, it’s an authentic one from the inside. Not a false one just for show. A replica smile can often be spotted from miles away by anyone who is looking for it. It can turn people off because it appears shallow and fake.
Eye Contact
Eye contact is another way of saying “I’m open and ready for a conversation,” so don’t send mixed signals by avoiding eye contact or making it uncomfortable or uneasy. You don’t have to look into his eyes the whole time, but be sure to acknowledge him with your gaze when you first meet him or when he reaches out in conversation—it’ll make him feel appreciated rather than ignored or disregarded.
Why do i attract unattractive guys Assess What You Say and Do
Take a step back and look at how you communicate to the guys you meet. It’s easy to fall into the trap of saying things that may make a guy feel undesirable without even realizing it. Consider how your words, body language, and outfit could be sending off signals that weren’t intended.
What Do You Say?
Think about conversations you have with guys who don’t seem to make the cut. Are you choosing words that are overly critical or dismissive? Do you give compliments sparingly or not at all? Make sure your words are gracious. Meaningful and friendly so that anyone who is good enough to talk to can see they have something to offer—even if it’s simply as a friend.
What Does Your Body Tell You?
Body language speaks louder than words so consider if you appear guarded or uncomfortable when meeting someone new. Keep an open posture when communicating by making eye contact. Smiling and nodding to show that you’re interested and engaged in the conversation.
Why do i attract unattractive guys What Should You Wear?
Fashion sends a message that reveals who you are as well as how available you might be on the dating scene. If sweatpants and baggy T-shirts are your typical uniform. Then perhaps it’s time for an upgrade. Invest in some quality clothing that makes you feel confident and gives off an air of approachability when looking for potential suitors.
Examine Your Body Language
Do you realize how powerful body language is? It can set the tone for an interaction, and can give a clear signal of your attitude and interest in someone. The way you carry yourself, facial expressions. Eye contact, and gestures all go a long way.
Sound familiar? Maybe you’ve been playing it safe by not making too much eye contact or crossing your arms during conversations. Maybe you aren’t as attentive as you could be. And maybe something about your posture says “I don’t feel comfortable here” which comes off as disinterest or unapproachability.
Why do i attract unattractive guys Assessing Your Body Language
Take a step back and assess the way you interact with people you’re interested in. Do you:
- Make consistent eye contact?
- Smile
